Saturday, 20 March 2010

A DIFFICULT FIRST

I have never done this before. 

I am currently sitting in Santa Monica. It's the night before the Los Angeles Marathon, the reason I came down here. I was going to run, but have decided against it. The choice is not without disappointment. 

The deal is this. Having gone the 26.2 mile distance 30 times, I pretty much know what would be required of me if I did suit up and give LA a shot. I know how far down I've dug before to pull myself beneath the FINISH banner. I'm also fairly certain that right now I do not have those reserves. 

I'm not whining about my recent job loss. I am simply acknowledging that it has taken it's toll on my ability to focus on efforts I don't have to take on right now...in order to save my energies for more important tasks at hand. If memory serves, I have been unemployed for only 2-3 weeks in my life...since I entered the work force, 40 years ago, in high school. This is new, and daunting. 

I went to the marathon expo today, in search of the inspiration that would push me to choose to run tomorrow. I met with dear friends there, talked to others on the phone and online, seeking similar assistance. They all stepped up, offering their best advice and support. Most voted that I should run. A few others indicated they would respect any choice I made. It did not take long for me to realize that I needed to find the inspiration within, and, try as I may, I just could not today. 

I will probably go for a nice run along the beach in Santa Monica tomorrow morning, before ending up at the LAM finish, to high-five my marathon-finishing friends. I am sure they are all folks I'll be running with in the future. I'm already looking for another marathon sign-up opportunity. After all, I've... 

Gotta run!


7 comments:

A girl running said...

Wow, I admire you for being able to make a huge decision like that at the moment. Obviously the right decision for you at the moment.

I hope you can purge some of your recent stresses and frustration on the Santa Monica beach tomorrow.

melissa said...

Michael, I think it's a good decision. I have been through job loss a few times and it is very difficult. A job represents a part of our identity and daily lives and when we lose a part of our daily lives we must grieve for it for a bit. You are still a marathoner- and I know you have the big picture- running to 100- in mind. Enjoy a run tomorrow before congratulating friends at the finish!

kchealy said...

I'm sorry about your job loss...that's a tough thing to go through. I think you're being smart to sit this one out given your recent injury and this current stress. Wishing you well!

Michael said...

Keep the spirit Michael. it sounds like you've got a lot of good people behind you. Taking one or two marathons off to figure things out is a small thing. You've got a lot of slow dances left. Cheers, Mike

rUntoNamAste said...

Your experience has served you well. Although difficult, this was a very wise move on your behalf. Your silver lining will come soon, my friend :)) Rest easy!

Michael @badassdadblog said...

Good on you for acknowledging and accepting what you needed to do, and doing it, despite how hard it must have been. Having also lost my job not long ago, I think I can understand some of what you are going through. Be well, sir.

amber said...

MB- I am sorry to hear about your job loss. Sending you many wonderful thoughts and hoping good things for you. Anything I can do, just ask friend.

Amber