TO BE...OR NOT

I have been doing a lot of NOT running lately. Serious.

And that’s NOT all. I have been spending an inordinate amount of free time NOT blogging. I shan’t say, “Sorry I haven’t blogged in so long, but life just been so busy, I have NOT had time.” That would be a lie. I’ve had far too much time, to do much of anything, it would seem.

The up-sides of my new obsession of “NOT” are multiple.

I am fairly certain I have cleansed my body of all those pesky endorphins runners seemingly live for. I have regenerated none of my own over the past few months of sitting on the couch, watching Survivor, praying for Russell’s demise and Parvati’s victory. Nor have I had to deal with Gatorade or Powerade or Accelerade, or any other ade-ade, in order to replenish any other depleted-by-training body liquids. My new pseudo-hobby requires only nightly excursions into the wonder-filled world of Trader Joe’s Two Buck Chuck…and the occasional grilled Velveeta “cheese” sandwich.

I have also saved some hefty cash, during a time when hefty cash is anything but readily available, by NOT putting unnecessary mileage on my Brooks Beasts or my Vibram Five Fingers. I have also NOT had to shell out marathon registration fees. I have NOT run a marathon since December.

I have felt momentarily guilty for leafing through Runners World magazine, being fully cognizant that my world has decidedly NOT been a runner’s of late. Perhaps I should have put my subscription on suspended mode, but I did NOT.

Time was, NOT so very long ago, my first move of the morning would be to check the status of all my online running friends. They often inspired me to put my gear on and head out the door, in the pre-dawn, for a quick six or so. The few times I have perused their early morning postings over the past few weeks have been painful. Their tales of victory and travel have been jealous-making. NOT so much, though, to get me off my butt. Until, well...next week.

I'm NOT doing it now. I was going to do it today,. Really. But Mother Nature decided to batter the Bay Area again today with rain...in late freakin' May! I heard that we got more rain today than we did in the entire month of May last year. That's NOT right. Instead, I have set June One as my target date, for rejoining the world of the living.

I had thought for a time that I was sinking into depression. Realized a couple of days ago that I am NOT. I am, rather, going through stimulus withdrawal. Much of what powered me through last year's 12-in-12 was taken from me this year...namely the job that financed the effort, the commitment to run on a regular basis, and the mystery of whether or NOT I was really up to it. NOT having goals is tough for me, so I have decided to go ahead and act like I have some.

I have the San Francisco Marathon on July 25th...and, even though I am way behind in what would be my normal training schedule for it, I am pouring myself into the time that's left. My goal is to feel, at the end of that event, like I'm fully back in the swing of things. After that, I am going to pretend that I'll have the money to travel to Greece in October for the Athens Classic Marathon. My goal for that one is to PR. 4:45 would be nice. Yeah, let's go with that. Why NOT?

Gotta run!

REINVENTION REVISTED

Twelve years ago I walked away, partly by choice, from a career that I'd grown weary of, partly due to work-related injury. I gave it up for a new adventure that paid half of what my wife and I'd been used to, in an effort to have and experience something different. At the beginning of this year I had finally worked my way back up the pay scale to what I was taking home in 1998! Three months later, the axe fell there, tossing me into the jobless mix of uncertainty, frustration, raised blood pressure, frantic budget trimming, and a forced lowering of life expectations. Turns out, it would not stay that way for long. 

To say that I have been blown away by the support I have gotten from my sweetheart wife, family, friends, Goon Squad members, other runners, bloggers, Facebookers, Twitterers, Daily Milers, Just Finishers, and bike shop and radio colleagues, would be an understatement. To bless you all would take too much space here. You know who you are.  You were the much-needed padding in the walls I've been bouncing off of for three weeks. 

Thankfully, the pinball action has subsided, as I've been welcomed back into the radio fold, on a fill-in basis, at a time when there are lots of open holes. I was even offered the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a budding new business, from a Twitter friend I've been following for months. Unfortunately, current time constraints don't allow me to give the time he needs to make it work. His trust and kindness will be long-remembered and appreciated warmly.  

If you've been here before you'll know I was going, at the end of this month, to Trieste and Prague, to run marathons in both places on back-to-back weekends in May.  That trip has been scrapped, but, as "they" say, you can't keep an old marathoner down. I am one click away from signing up for the San Francisco Marathon in July. It'll be my fourth running of the SFM. My rule has been to not run any one marathon more than three times but...rules are meant to be broken. I am viewing it as my hometown marathon madness re-entry event. I am hoping to hear soon that at least a couple of local friends will be doing it, too. 

Shortly after I'd committed to running Trieste, I agreed to run the Athens Classic Marathon in...well, Greece! I have a dear friend there, whom I have never met in person, who inspires with every workout she posts on line. We've chatted for months, and, at one point she invited me to come over and run with her. I accepted. It's not til October 31st so, despite my job loss, I was not prepared to cancel. I figured I'd give it time. Then, last week I decided to take a chance that work and finances would soon stabilize and sign up for it. Turns out, the day before, it sold out. I thought I was out of luck. However, within hours of emailing my friend, she'd spoken with her running club members about me and emailed me back. They're going to let me sign up as one of them. Could these people be more amazing? You do the math. 

So. It would appear...the sharp edges of involuntary unemployment are being rounded...to where they are barely painful...right now. I am thrilled to be back in the full mix of life. Reinventing, again. 

Gotta run!

HEAD OUT...SHOES OFF

It's been a pretty intense couple of weeks.

Losing my job, mine and my wife's health insurance, filling out Cobra forms and unemployment insurance paperwork, dumping out of the LA Marathon, canceling my marathon trips to Trieste and Prague, applying for jobs, interviewing, waiting for severance payments, reestablishing my ties with radio friends and my former newsroom career, coming up with a budget based on jobless bennies and fill-in work, selling my Darth Vadar bike (to pad the checkbook), and trying to stay sane...has had me bouncing off walls. I would like to think things are beginning to calm down. I'd also like to think that some of the patience and focus I've learned while running long distance has helped. However, this is one marathon I'd like to see end very soon.

In an effort to regain some semblance of control, I have been trying to work out at the gym and run. I have needed to just pull my head out...and make stuff work. Today I slipped on my VFF's for the first time since I injured myself in them two months ago. They felt great. I wanted to run farther than the five I put in this morning, but realized it would be clever of me to pace myself. Hurt is something I'd rather not feel again anytime soon.

Last Saturday I did an awesome 10 miler in a park I'd all but forgotten about...in my Beasts. Hard, but welcome.

I have been itching to find a spring marathon, but have yet to pull the trigger on one. Still in a holding pattern, waiting to see how the job thing pans out. I know myself though. I will probably take the leap here soon, and will plan on bailing out if I have to work instead.

In another step toward sanity I have started working on my running book. Thanks to everyone who responded to my questions about what you'd like to hear about when it comes my marathon adventures. I kicked the whole writing process off last weekend with a visit to San Francisco's Caffe Trieste.

I have been going here for about 30 years. They've always had the best latte in town. It's a comfy, well-worn, welcoming spot, known for the opera music on the jukebox, live opera on the weekends, and its varied clientele. Many books have been at least partially written here. Many poets, artists, actors, activists, movie directors and producers, singers, politicians have lined up at the coffee counter here...then sat, unhurried, for hours, debating what's wrong with the world and how to fix it. My hope in starting the book here was that I could possibly absorb some of the talent those folks left behind in the walls. Time will tell.

I'm also fond of the grilled ham and cheese.

Gotta run!

THE NEXT CHAPTER

OK. So here's the deal. I lost my job a week or so ago. I'll not bring it up again, except to say that, as a result, I have a some extra time on my hands. Because of that, in order to retain some semblance of sanity, I have decided, urged on by a number of friends, to write my long-thought-about running book. But I need your assistance.

If you're a regular reader you know I finished twelve marathons in twelve months last year. Some folks, runners and those who just don't get that "running thing", have indicated that they found that inspirational in some way. I'm not sure I get that, really, especially given the pain I felt while doing every one of those races, how much I did NOT want to train on so many mornings, and how many times I questioned my own sanity during the process. Not much there that I would consider inspiring!

I am also so very aware that there are so many other runners out there, many of them dear friends of mine, who have run many more marathons than I have, most of them faster than I will ever run. So, I'm not sure that what I did last year was so special that anyone would want to read about it.

Don't get me wrong. I am quite proud of the case behind my desk that displays my 30 marathon finisher's medals, twelve of which were collected last year. It felt nutty to commit to doing it in the first place, was such an adventure during the process, and resulted in an amazing sense of relief when it was all over. Besides that, however, I am not sure myself what it was all for. I have yet to consciously glean from that experience whatever life lessons may be hidden within. Perhaps there's some shiny new bling in there. I could use some.

Here's where you come in. I would love to know what you would like to know about the adventure. My running has taken me to some amazing places and introduced me to some even more amazing people. I have stories about Hungarian police pulling me off of the only marathon I've started but didn't finish, frantically looking for a store candy store in Barcelona, my wine-laden search for the Loch Ness monster the night before a marathon in Scotland, the power of the "Big G", the power of Mars bars, my hunt for choco-bacon in Austin, and why one should check the Internet's bed-bug index when booking hotels in marathon cities.

I believe there is something interesting in my stories..I'm just not sure yet what it may be. If you can help, please do. Cheers. But for now...

Gotta run!

PULLING OUT..PULLING FOR

From the moment I made the decision on Saturday to not run the Los Angeles Marathon the following morning, my trip to Santa Monica became nothing about me and everything about the folks I know who were going to be out there at the Dodger Stadium start.

I met with Patti, John and Bert at the sun-baked expo, wavering then, but not yet decided. Both of the guys were uncertain they were physically 100% up for the challenge, due to nagging knee pains, but were totally down with being out there. Patti is always cheerful. She loves hot weather, and was seemingly stoked and raring to go. I have run with all three before, and know how much they love the marathon. It was nearly contagious enough.

My friend, Bob, lives and trains in Tokyo. He REALLY trains. His blog is impressive numbers on top of intimidating numbers. We both ran Santa Barbara International last December. If memory serves, he was shooting for 3:04 then. He only managed to pull out a disappointing 3:09! We were supposed to meet up at the LAM expo, too, but we didn't...because I needed to get out of the heat. Patti, John and Bert and I headed off to find a couple of cold beers.

When the brews and snacks ran out, I headed back to my hostel digs, fairly certain I would NOT be spending the evening pinning my bib on my running shirt and going over the last minute race instructions. Instead, I came up with my plans for hanging out at the finish line, to take pictures of my friends as they conquered the new LAM route.

I wasn't able to go to bed as early as I normally do, because I had to deliver my other friend Sandra's bib to her. She was driving down from the Bay Area and couldn't make the expo. She rolled into Santa Monica at about 9:30, and the hand-off was complete. She also had a gift for me. She and I are both Pepperidge Farm Cheddar Goldfish addicts. Sick? We think not. Please don't judge. The surprise she had for me, was this beautifully hand-crafted goldfish cap! Sweet!

Before hitting the hay for the evening I chatted a bit with the two new runner guys in my six-bunk hostel room. Turns out they arrived late at the expo and were not able to get the free t-shirts in the size they needed. Both wanted a large, but the marathon planners apparently didn't plan well enough to have the sizes that would satisfy all late-comers. I could only help one of them. I had a large I would not wear, seeing that I wasn't going to run. Gave one guy my shirt. He said he'd remember me every time he wore it. A nice thought...but I'm guessing not so much. Just glad to help.

As race morning arrived, I was not offended at all by the two roomies fumbling about for their gear at 4AM. After they slipped out, under cover of darkness, I went back to sleep. Got up two hours later and did a 10 mile run along the Santa Monica beachfront. Showered, then headed for the finish, expecting to see Tokyo Bob crush his goal time. Turns out it was not to be. Once again, he let us all down, only managing a dismal 3:08. A minute faster than Santa Barbara!

I met up with him moments after he finished. His comment was, "these things don't get any easier." I could tell he was disappointed that he had not cracked 3:04. He would find out later, at the post-race party at his delightful daughter's condo in East Hollywood, he won his age group...again. I only have to trim a little less than 2 hours off of my marathon best to come close to what Bob does. He just rocks.

After Bob crossed the finish, honestly, I knew I had a little time to spare, before the rest of the crew would arrive. Grabbed a coffee, strolled out onto the Santa Monica Pier, and then came back to snag a photo-spot beneath the 26 mile banner. Waited there from when the time-clock said 4:30 til John passed before me. Turns out I missed Patti, Bert AND Sandra, even though I was standing there ready to capture their success on digital. I did catch John, thanks to text messaging.

Every one of these folks is a star in their own right. This was not an easy course. Each handled it with determination and humor. I missed the shared experience. I am sorry I won't have the stories to swap about "that year we ran LA". However, I am better for having witnessed their accomplishment. 

Gotta run!

A DIFFICULT FIRST

I have never done this before. 

I am currently sitting in Santa Monica. It's the night before the Los Angeles Marathon, the reason I came down here. I was going to run, but have decided against it. The choice is not without disappointment. 

The deal is this. Having gone the 26.2 mile distance 30 times, I pretty much know what would be required of me if I did suit up and give LA a shot. I know how far down I've dug before to pull myself beneath the FINISH banner. I'm also fairly certain that right now I do not have those reserves. 

I'm not whining about my recent job loss. I am simply acknowledging that it has taken it's toll on my ability to focus on efforts I don't have to take on right now...in order to save my energies for more important tasks at hand. If memory serves, I have been unemployed for only 2-3 weeks in my life...since I entered the work force, 40 years ago, in high school. This is new, and daunting. 

I went to the marathon expo today, in search of the inspiration that would push me to choose to run tomorrow. I met with dear friends there, talked to others on the phone and online, seeking similar assistance. They all stepped up, offering their best advice and support. Most voted that I should run. A few others indicated they would respect any choice I made. It did not take long for me to realize that I needed to find the inspiration within, and, try as I may, I just could not today. 

I will probably go for a nice run along the beach in Santa Monica tomorrow morning, before ending up at the LAM finish, to high-five my marathon-finishing friends. I am sure they are all folks I'll be running with in the future. I'm already looking for another marathon sign-up opportunity. After all, I've... 

Gotta run!

PULLING FROM THE CORE

Earlier this week, with an abundance of caution, I laced up my Beasts and reintroduced them to the pavement. It's been five weeks since I hurt myself and found myself in Recoveryland. It is not a fun land. I did three miles that day, around Oakland's Lake Merritt, and another three miles on the treadmill on another day. It was after those little jaunts that I decided I was probably ready to kick things up a bit, especially since I have the Los Angeles Marathon in four (arrgh???) weeks. Today I slipped into the Beasts again and headed into San Francisco, with the goal of starting a ten miler right outside my jacuzzi-equipped gym and then ending it there, hopefully, without pain.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/25243588

Immediately, upon stepping outside my door, I started realizing the things I've missed not running the past month or so.

I was not raining but it was threatening to. I wondered, as I do many pre-dawn mornings, whether I am over- or under-dressed for the conditions. I decided I had called it just right, and headed to the closest Starbucks for an additional boost. I'd already had two cups of Blue Bottle Three Africans. As I parked, between two of the five cop cars in the lot, I saw all five officers sitting at a table inside. It was the start of their days, too. They had no idea what sort of action they'd be facing in the hours ahead. That's what's brilliant about running while almost everyone else is still in bed. As I walked by I overheard one of them mention something about some trouble he was having with his "washer and dryer". See, cops are people, too!

Along with my coffee I also had a chocolate croissant. The cheery Starbucks lass heated it up for me just a tad, making it just that more likely that some chocolate would drip out and onto my jacket. That would have been tragic. It didn't happen!

Among the many, many rarities in the city of San Francisco is free parking...right where you want it to be. I snagged such a spot across from my gym this day. Result. Happy with that, I put my earbuds in my ears and switched on my little radio. Fail. I had forgotten to check the batteries, and these had given up the ghost. I was apparently going to be left with nothing but my own thoughts for the next couple of hours. Fortunately, I had my Blackberry, so I turned the whole event into a picture-taking journey.

I started things off with a potty stop in the Ferry Building Plaza. It is usually a teeming mass of tourists and local go-getter business types. When the stalls are open you can find almost anything good to eat or drink here...and pay about twice as much as you should! However, this morning, as I started my Garmin, this is what it looked like inside...








My route of choice took me south on the Embarcadero, toward ATT Park, the home of our baseball Giants. I made one little detour, out to the end of this fishing pier. Note to self and everyone else...don't eat anything you know came from this Bay. Serious.








Having run very little in the past few weeks, it was a little tough getting into the grove. I still had not fully warmed to the challenge by the time I got to the ballpark, a little over a mile from the start. Took a moment to check my previously-injured foot here, and to snap a snap of the big mitt on display on the outfield wall.

From the stadium I turned north, heading up 3rd Street, then west to 4th, and an area called China Basin. It used to be butt-ugly. It ain't no more. Despite the current economic climate, there's big bucks being spent and made here.

Next I ran across a "street" I'd never heard of before. I'm thinking most of us would feel pretty cool if a street was named for us. I'm wondering, though, what Helen Macintosh thinks. You are looking at her namesake Lane...all of it!

Around the corner from HM Lane, I found this intersection. Again, I've never heard of these streets before today. This is one of the joys of running. The tasty discoveries you make along the way.

In order to make it to Market Street, I had to weave my way through throngs of out-of-towners, obviously on their way to a convention at Moscone Center. I gave up at one point and went into the street. Why is it that tourists leave their brains in their hotel rooms when they venture out, if they brought them from home at all?

Crossing Market I climbed up Stockton Street. This is the tunnel at the top of the hill. I didn't go through here, as I was afraid I'd loose my Garmin's connection with the heavens.

Turned right here and then left on Grant, the entrance to Chinatown. I wanted to pay homage to the herbal concoction I am sure sped my recovery up. What was disconcerting, a bit, but fun, a lot, what that most of the streets were vacant, having been shut down for some event. Never did figure out what it was.

North Beach is just north of Chinatown...and home to some amazing Italian restaurants and cafes.

I will admit to being tempted. But, I had a job to do.

I also found a Belgian restaurant I didn't know existed. Snapped a pic of the menu for my friend, Laura. She's all hot for anything Belgian. Serious.

At the top (or is it the bottom?) of Columbus Avenue, I turned west again, heading toward Fort Mason and the Marina Green. Decided the Marina would be where I turned back toward the Financial District, my car and the jacuzzi. Hit mile 8 right about here...with no pain.

That's the St. Francis Yacht Club back there. Chances are it will be hosting the next America's Cup. Don't know if you heard, but Oracle's big guy, Larry Ellison just won that little trinket. He gets to choose the next venue for the competition.

These are the Ft. Mason steps. I did run up them. I stopped to breathe again at the top...then headed down the hill towards Fisherman's Wharf. These folks will welcome just about anybody to the City...from anywhere...even pirates!

The third flag from the right is a Jolly Roger! Aye!

After the wharf, where I inhaled the smells of steamed crab and fresh baked sourdough bread (and did NOT exhale!), it was all about the last mile back down the Embarcadero, from whence I came.

At mile 8 my Garmin indicated I had been doing 12:40 miles. I was not happy with that time, even though this run was meant to test the mettle of my right foot, and not for any sort of record pace. Decided to kick things up a bit for the last two, as the foot was fine. Whittled that down to 12:09 average pace by the end. Happy with that.

Also happy with the outdoor, but covered, jacuzzi at my 24 Hour Fitness place. This, people, was what it was all about.

Having not trained much for over a month I was not certain how much gas there would be in the tank today. Apparently I have some core stuff left from last year's madness. Happy for that. Let's do us some LA, huh?

Gotta run!